Unpacking the Superwoman Cape

For so many of us, worth is tied to how much we can achieve, juggle, and endure. But the relentless drive to “do it all” can leave us feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and disconnected from what matters most. What if we didn’t have to wear the cape? What if our worth was inherent—not tied to how much we accomplish?

One of the biggest dreams of my life was to become a mom. That’s why it was devastating when I learned about my infertility. The tests, medications, and surgeries were brutal, but after everything, I was overjoyed to learn I had conceived.

At the same time, my career was taking off. My star was rising, and I had big plans for this next phase of my life. My goal was to focus full force on my career during pregnancy and then, after giving birth, kick into overdrive as the badass career woman and mom who could do it all.

But pregnancy had other plans. It was horrible. I was so sick, and that superwoman cape I’d planned to wear? It was wearing me down instead.

I soon realized I couldn’t do it all. My body was telling me I needed to slow down if I wanted to carry this pregnancy and care for myself. And so, I listened.

I made the intentional decision to stop all excess work and focus on the task at hand—nurturing myself and the new life I was growing. Letting go of the superwoman cape wasn’t easy. I had tied so much of my identity to being the person who could handle everything. But the truth is, I couldn’t do it all and be the mom I had dreamed of becoming.

Even now, as much as I’ve tried, I haven’t been able to put that cape back on in the same way since becoming a mother. And you know what? That’s okay.

My career is still thriving, even without the superheroics. There are moments when I feel the discomfort of doing less, of stepping back when I need rest, but I’ve come to understand that this is what’s best for me. The cape may be off, but my worth remains intact.

Research shows that multitasking and overworking can decrease productivity and increase stress, leading to burnout. Studies reveal that prioritizing tasks and setting realistic expectations improve mental health and overall performance.

Letting go of the pressure to “do it all” allows us to focus on what truly matters, fostering balance and well-being.

This week, practice taking off the superwoman cape:

• List your priorities: Identify the 2-3 things that matter most to you right now, whether it’s a project, your health, or time with loved ones.

• Delegate tasks: Look at your to-do list and find one task you can delegate to a colleague, partner, or friend.

• Give yourself permission to pause: When you feel the urge to take on more, remind yourself: “I don’t have to do it all to be worthy."

Some Resources:

• Book Recommendation: The Strong Black Woman: How a Myth Endangers the Physical and Mental Health of Black Women by Marita Golden

• Journal Prompt: What are 1-2 tasks or obligations you can let go of this week to lighten your load? How will this help you focus on what matters most?

The superwoman cape may feel like a badge of honor, but it often comes at the cost of our well-being. By letting go of the pressure to do it all, we create space to show up authentically and focus on what truly matters. Remember, your worth isn’t tied to how much you can carry—it’s tied to who you are.

🖤Dr. Akilah

This is part of Dr. Akilah's Rewriting the Narrative of Strength series. Read the entire series here!