Letting Go of Perfection

Perfection may feel like the standard we’re supposed to live up to—but it’s a trap. The constant effort to appear flawless can keep us from embracing who we truly are and connecting with others in meaningful ways. What if we let go of the need to perform and allowed ourselves to simply be?

I was heartbroken. The life I’d envisioned with someone I loved deeply was no longer going to be, and I was devastated. At home, I cried endlessly, feeling a pain so raw it seemed bottomless. But each day, when I stepped outside, I tried to project "boss energy." I wanted to be strong and look unbothered, as if I had it all together.

The truth was, I didn’t. And pretending to be okay felt just as painful as the heartbreak itself.

One of my best friends, my soul sister, gave me an idea: Post on Instagram for 100 days. I resisted at first. The idea of breaking the image that my life was going as planned felt terrifying. But I trusted her, and deep down, I trusted my emotional process.

So, I took the leap. Each day, I posted my thoughts, feelings, and the lessons I was learning as I moved through the heartbreak. I didn’t hide behind the mask of strength and perfection—I shared the messy, raw truth of where I was.

Something shifted. The more I embraced my vulnerability, the more I started to feel better. I stopped hiding and started fully embracing where I was in life. By showing up as my true self, flaws and all, I found a sense of freedom I hadn’t felt in years.

That 100-day journey changed me. It taught me the power of authenticity and showed me that perfection isn’t the goal—alignment with your true self is. Through that process, I stopped striving for an image of perfection and began living in the truth that I am enough, just as I am.

Studies have shown that the pursuit of perfection can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and burnout. Research highlights how embracing vulnerability and imperfection fosters stronger emotional resilience and deeper connections with others.

When we let go of the pressure to be perfect, we allow ourselves to grow, heal, and live authentically.

This week, take some time to rewrite the negative self-talk that often fuels perfectionism:

• Reflect: Identify a situation where you’ve been overly critical of yourself.

• Reframe: Write down what your inner critic says. Then, rewrite those thoughts with kindness and compassion. For example:

  • Negative: "I should have done better; I’m not good enough."

  • Reframe: "I did the best I could with what I had, and that’s enough."

• Affirm: End with a positive affirmation like, "I am enough, just as I am."

Some Resources:

• Book Recommendation: Stop Waiting for Perfect by L’Oreal Thompson Payton

• Journal Prompt: What’s one area of your life where perfectionism has held you back? How can you start embracing imperfection this week?

Perfection is an illusion that keeps us from living fully. By embracing our imperfections, we can step into the freedom of authenticity and truly align with who we are meant to be.

🖤Dr. Akilah

This is part of Dr. Akilah's Rewriting the Narrative of Strength series. Read the entire series here!