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For so many of us, strength has been defined by our ability to carry burdens alone, to power through without leaning on others. But true strength lies in allowing ourselves to ask for and receive the support we need—especially in moments of vulnerability.
I recently had a health scare that rocked me to my core. Though I know the odds are in my favor and everything is highly likely to be okay, my mind sometimes takes me to the worst-case scenarios. Late at night, when my anxiety is at its peak, my thoughts often circle around my son—his well-being, his future, and who will care for him if anything ever happens to me.
What I’ve noticed as I navigate this tender moment in my life is that I feel more sensitive, more vulnerable than usual. My fears feel like they need to be voiced—not to be dismissed with assurances that "everything will be fine" (because I already know that, deep down), but to be heard. I’ve needed someone to say, "I understand how scary this is," and, even more importantly, "Your love for your son is clear, and he will always be cared for."
But here’s the truth: no one can give us what we need in moments of crisis if we don’t share what we’re feeling or ask for support.
So, I reached out. I started sharing my fears with the people I trust—until my soul began to feel the warmth it so desperately needed.
One moment stands out: a good friend of mine, after listening to my worries about my son, said, "He could never forget you." She reminded me of how deeply connected I already am to him, how much of me is already a part of him. We chuckled through the tears, and her words didn’t erase the fear, but they brought me back to the love and connection I have right now.
At that moment, I grabbed onto the warmth of her support. It reminded me of all the love I’ve already received—my parents and sisters who have sat with me during appointments, the tearful calls my parents have patiently listened to, and the heartfelt conversations with my partner where I’ve poured out my heart. These experiences deeply met my need for connection and reassurance. They have been the catalyst to continue reaching out for support, serving as a reminder of just how much love and care surrounds me.
Asking for help didn’t take the fear away entirely, but it helped me realize that I don’t have to carry it all alone. And when I continue to reach out and share what I’m feeling, I find the warmth of the sun slowly wrapping itself around my heart.
Research shows that asking for and receiving support can significantly improve emotional well-being and reduce stress. Individuals who actively seek support experience greater resilience and better mental health outcomes during challenging times.
Asking for help is not a sign of weakness—it’s a recognition of our humanity and a step toward healing.
This week, practice asking for help in ways that feel meaningful to you:
Identify your needs: Take a moment to reflect on what kind of support you need—emotional, practical, or simply a listening ear.
Reach out intentionally: Choose someone you trust and share what you’re feeling. Be specific about how they can help, whether it’s by listening, offering advice, or simply sitting with you.
Acknowledge the love: Even if the support isn’t perfect, take a moment to appreciate the care and effort offered by those around you.
Some Resources
Book Recommendation: We’re Going to Need More Wine by Gabrielle Union – A memoir filled with honest, vulnerable stories about navigating life’s challenges and finding strength in community and connection.
Journal Prompt: Who are the people in my life I can turn to for support? What is one way I can ask for help this week?
Asking for help isn’t about admitting defeat—it’s about allowing yourself to be cared for. Strength is found in connection, in the warmth of a friend’s words, or the simple act of being heard. When we reach out, we create space for healing, love, and the reminder that we’re never truly alone.
🖤Dr. Akilah
This is part of Dr. Akilah's Rewriting the Narrative of Strength series. Read the entire series here!
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