Softness is Strength

For so long, strength has been defined by how much we can endure, how much we can push through. But what if strength looks different? What if it’s not about how much we hold up, but how much we allow ourselves to let go?

This isn’t my story—it’s a powerful moment from the movie The Six Triple Eight, starring Kerry Washington (spoiler alert!).

Toward the end of the movie, after an all-Black women army battalion endured ridicule and mistreatment both at home and abroad, there was a moment that captured the essence of strength in softness. Washington’s character, the battalion leader, had carried the weight of leading her women under immense pressure, ensuring their excellence while navigating a world that often disrespected and dismissed them.

After a degrading encounter with her superior, she finally stood up for herself and her battalion, speaking her truth with a boldness that carried risks. Retribution from her superiors was a very real possibility, but when the moment came, it wasn’t her superiors who defined the outcome—it was her battalion.

Her battalion applauded her, not just for being strong, but for standing up for them with pride, courage, and vulnerability. They offered her gratitude and recognition, showing her that she didn’t stand alone. In the face of potential consequences, her battalion became her soft place to land, softening what could have been a hard blow from her superiors. It was a moment of collective love, understanding, and support—a reminder that even the strongest among us need the embrace of community.

That scene struck a deep chord with me. It reminded me of my own journey and the moments when I’ve yearned for softness, especially after seasons of struggle.

For a long time, I carried the weight of trying to prove myself and push through on my own. But as I moved into the next phase of my life, I realized I couldn’t keep doing it all alone. I needed a soft place to land.

And I found it. My family and friends became my foundation, showing up for me with love, support, and encouragement when I needed it most. Professionally, I finally found a job where my colleagues were wonderful to be around—a team that welcomed me as I was and made showing up to work a joy, not a burden.

These spaces have been transformative for me. They’ve reminded me that strength isn’t about how much we endure—it’s about allowing ourselves to lean on others and embrace the care they offer.

But perhaps the greatest lesson I’ve learned is this: receiving softness doesn’t just restore us—it shapes how we show up in the world. When we experience gentleness, we’re more likely to extend it to ourselves and others. Softness, when received, ripples outward, becoming the way we move, respond, and heal. Just like Washington’s character, I’ve learned that finding a soft place to land helps us embrace softness within ourselves—and that is its own kind of strength.

Research shows that self-compassion and supportive connections can significantly improve mental health and resilience. Embracing vulnerability fosters personal growth, reduces anxiety, and strengthens relationships.

Softness—whether it’s self-compassion or the support of others—allows us to heal, rebuild, and thrive.

This week, practice embracing softness in your life:

• Ask for support: Reach out to someone you trust and let them know what you need—whether it’s a listening ear, a moment of connection, or just someone to sit with.

• Be gentle with yourself: When you feel the urge to push through, pause and ask, "What would kindness toward myself look like right now?"

• Celebrate vulnerability: Share something honest with a safe person in your life. Notice how it feels to let someone in.

Some Resources:

• Movie Recommendation: The Six Triple Eight – A powerful story of courage, resilience, and the healing power of sisterhood.

• Journal Prompt: When was the last time you allowed yourself to lean into softness? How did it feel, and what did you learn?

Softness isn’t the absence of strength; it’s the truest expression of it. By receiving care and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, we learn to extend gentleness to ourselves and others. This ripple effect transforms not only how we heal, but also how we move through the world—with compassion, courage, and grace.

🖤Dr. Akilah

This is part of Dr. Akilah's Rewriting the Narrative of Strength series. Read the entire series here!