Healing in Community

For so many of us, strength is synonymous with self-reliance. We’re taught to carry our burdens quietly and solve our problems alone. But true healing often happens in connection—with people who see us, support us, and allow us to show up fully as ourselves.

But the deeper truth, the one I rarely share unless you’re close to me, is this: I didn’t really pick psychology. Psychology picked me.

There was something inside me—perhaps God’s guidance—that drew me to this path. It wasn’t just about building a career; it was about finding healing. What I didn’t fully realize at the time was how much I needed to reconnect with myself, to feel my emotions deeply, to let go of being “strong,” and to allow myself to be vulnerable.

My journey through psychology was as much about personal growth as professional development. I first learned and practiced vulnerability in my psychologist community, and later perfected it through the incredible friends and colleagues I gained along the way.

But it wasn’t easy. The hardest part of graduate training for me wasn’t the academic rigor—it was the emotional toll. At times, I felt like an outsider in a profession where I questioned my belonging. I often felt like a square being forced into a circle, needing to shave off parts of myself to fit in. My full self—the creative, quirky, and unique parts of me—didn’t seem welcome.

The cost of this was high. There were moments I even considered leaving the field entirely. I wondered if I could find a space where I could be all of me—both the psychologist and the human.

And then I found The Black Girl Doctor.

Joining this incredible collective of highly trained Black women psychologists was transformative. For the first time in my career, I felt truly seen and valued—not just for my credentials and skills, but for all the parts of me I thought I had to hide. My creativity, my quirks, my full self—it was all welcome here.

The work we do at The Black Girl Doctor is ingenious and innovative, but the greatest healing I’ve experienced has been within the community itself. The love and support I’ve found among my colleagues have restored everything I felt I lost during my training.

Psychology didn’t just give me a career; it gave me a path to healing through community. It reminded me that I don’t have to do it all alone—and that the strength I find in connection is unlike anything I could ever carry by myself.

Research consistently shows that connection and community are essential for mental health and well-being. Research highlights that social support positively influences resilience and work-life balance, leading to reduced stress and enhanced well-being. Additionally, studies show that robust social support networks are linked to higher life satisfaction and lower symptoms of depression, emphasizing the critical role of connection in fostering mental health.

Healing in community fosters a sense of belonging, which is crucial for navigating life’s challenges. It allows us to be seen, supported, and validated in ways that promote personal and collective growth.

This week, take intentional steps to build or nurture your support network:

• Reconnect with someone: Reach out to a friend, family member, or colleague you trust and schedule time to connect.

• Join a community: Consider joining a group or organization aligned with your interests or values, whether professionally or personally.

• Ask for support: Share something you’re struggling with or need help navigating. Let others show up for you.

Remember, healing doesn’t have to be a solo journey.

Some Resources:

• Book Recommendation: Sister Outsider by Audre Lorde – A collection of essays and speeches exploring identity, community, and the power of collective healing.

• Journal Prompt: What does your current support network look like? How can you deepen your connections or expand your circle this week?

Healing in community is a reminder that we don’t have to carry it all alone. When we lean on others, we not only find strength—we share it, creating spaces where everyone can thrive together.

🖤Dr. Akilah

This is part of Dr. Akilah's Rewriting the Narrative of Strength series. Read the entire series here!