4 Things My Past Self Wanted Me to Remember Today

Do you be writing? I think you should.

I write all the time. I used to keep a diary religiously when I was a kid. But somewhere around middle or high school—can’t quite remember when—a certain unnamed family member read my diary, and that was the end of that era. I know some of y’all can relate to the trauma 😭. After that, I stopped writing for a long time. I lost something I wouldn’t pick up again until much later in life.

One moment that really sticks with me was on 9/11. I was in undergrad at the time, and my English professor called me. She actually called every student individually that day. She let us know class was canceled, but she also offered something more important: she encouraged us to write. She said, "Take today to journal. Capture how you're feeling. This is a moment you'll never be able to recall more clearly than you can right now. Write it down."

It wasn’t homework. She just knew. And I did what she asked. I was grateful then, and I’ve been grateful ever since. That entry became something I could look back on, a way to revisit not just history, but myself in that moment.

Later, as I moved around for school and work and all the things, I didn’t always keep up with journaling like I wanted to. Life gets busy, you know? But I created a little ritual for myself: every time I flew home for the holidays—usually a long flight—I’d take that time to journal. Just reflect. Reconnect with myself. I kept that up for years.

Now that I’ve been more grounded and rooted in place, I still try to pause and reflect at least twice a year: once at the end of the year, and once around my birthday. I write about what the year has taught me, the patterns I’ve seen, the growth I’ve made—or still need to make.

And I say all this not just to encourage you to write, but to re-read what you wrote. Years later. Go back to your old journals. You’ll be amazed at what’s changed, and at what hasn’t. I’ve opened entries and found myself struggling with the same things from years ago, realizing I hadn’t made the changes I needed. I’ve also found encouragement in my own words, lessons I once knew that I’d somehow forgotten.

Recently, I went back through some of my past "lessons learned" entries that I've shared publicly—and a few hit with full force 👇🏾

• I can love myself through anything. You can love yourself through anything. Criticism can open your eyes but change and growth comes through deeply loving on and pouring into yourself. Even in moments when you think you don't deserve it (actually, especially then) try grace and mercy and love as your method to get through trials and into your next chapter. Give yourself love without conditions, always.

• Being vulnerable is an intentional act or willingness to allow myself to experience pain despite having the option to avoid it. I'd much rather avoid pain, but it is part of my full human experience and a prerequisite to growth and to creating pathways for the amazingness I want to get out of life, to pour in.

• I have enough. Anything else from here is just a bonus. When you don't "need" more, you can more readily act from a place of grace and let go of the pain that comes when the world (read: devil) comes for you. Even if you want more, do you have enough? I have enough.

• Most likely, the best is still yet to come. When I think of my life this way, it helps me make better decisions, maintain high expectations of those in my life, live with more anticipation than fear, and believe that goodness is always just around the corner. What would it be like for you to live each day believing that your greatest joys are still ahead of you? Deeper love, connection, and peace is coming to you!

This is exactly what I needed to hear in this season. Funny how that works, right? I already had everything I needed.

If you journal, I encourage you to do the same. Go back. Re-read your words. Let them teach you again. You are wise. The answers are within you.

If you don't journal, start today. Your future self needs your wisdom!

Happy Journaling,

Dr. Tai

Founder & CEO, The Black Girl Doctor

P.S. This is also why therapy is so powerful. It’s not that your therapist is giving you the answers—they’re helping you navigate and surface what has always lived within you. Interested in learning more about therapy? Book your complimentary consult today!