Self Compassion is Self-Care

"You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody."--Maya Angelou

Read it again: "you are enough." How does this fact make you feel? Is it hard to fully believe? Is it bringing up any emotions?

Self-compassion is the practice of patiently handling yourself with care, kindness, grace, and understanding. It is a practice because you grow and improve with regular exercise and development of the skill.

Modern scientists have now captured that wisdom in data, and there is plenty of it that details the wide-ranging benefits of mindfulness practices, particularly formal meditation.

Dr. Amy cheesing in front of the APA headquarters in Washington DC.

It is the most crucial to implement when you think that you have failed, are struggling, or are suffering.  Instead of judging or criticizing yourself after an error, you accept your humanity and give yourself the same encouragement and support that you would extend to someone who you love.  The practice of self-compassion can grow resilience, sense of self-worth, and improve mental and physical health.

First and foremost, for this to be effective, you have to truly believe that you are worth this treatment.  Because of lived experiences or messages received from others, you may not believe this.  Rather, you may experience guilt, shame, unforgiveness, and other negative emotions with unkind thoughts if you make a mistake.  Or, you may simply feel this way all of the time.

However, if you are going to be a healthy human and a strong, powerful advocate in your workplace, community, and government, you cannot be weighed down by this unnecessary burden.  Remember, caring for yourself is not self-indulgence, rather it is an act of political warfare.  This means that self-compassion is necessary to continuously achieve goals for yourself and others who you care about.

Take this brief quiz to measure your current self-compassion.  Even if you already are doing well with self-compassion, to grow your practice, consider creating your own personal self-affirmation phrases, such as "I deserve kindness."  You can also write down what you are grateful for and appreciate about yourself.  In a moment of frustration, consider giving yourself the same pep talk that you would give to a friend in the same situation.  And of course, one of the most baller steps of all is to reach out for help if you need it.  Life is too short to live it on hard mode.  You deserve the best!

Check out these resources:

• Dr. Kristin Neff and the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion

• Self-Care for Black Women: 150 Ways to Radically Accept and Prioritize Your Mind, Body, & Soul

• The Inner Work of Racial Justice: Healing Ourselves and Transforming Our Communities Through Mindfulness

• Oh Happy Dani

Remember, prioritizing yourself is a revolutionary act, and small steps can have a profound impact. Let’s commit to thriving unapologetically the rest of this year and in the years ahead—individually and together.

In solidarity,

Dr. Amy

This is part of Dr. Amy's Self Care Is Political Warfare series. Read the entire series here!