Joy as a Birthright

For many of us, joy often feels like a luxury—something we indulge in only when all the work is done. But what if joy isn’t something we earn, but something we deserve? What if centering joy isn’t at odds with our goals but actually fuels them?

Three months. I spent three intense months in hardcore study mode preparing for my licensing exam—the most important test of my life. Passing it would mean finally becoming a psychologist after 12 years of school and training. Failing? Well, that wasn’t an option.

I went into hyper-focus mode, something I’d mastered during other milestones in my educational journey. My life became a cycle of work, study, sleep, and repeat.

I worked over 50 hours a week in my fellowship, woke up early to study, listened to study tapes during my commute, and squeezed in late-night study sessions before bed. Weekends? Full-day study marathons, sometimes at a new coffee shop with my bestie for "side-by-side" study sessions.

This routine went on for weeks, and I was laser-focused on passing that exam on my first try. But then came a dilemma: one of my best friends was celebrating a milestone birthday with a party in Miami.

Now, I love a good celebration, and I wanted to be there for my friend. But how could I justify a weekend getaway when I had this massive career-defining obligation hanging over me? I felt torn between showing up for my friend and sticking to my rigid study schedule.

After much deliberation, I decided to go. I had already been studying for three months, and my practice test scores were strong. I chose to prioritize joy, friendship, and a little bit of fun, even though it meant delaying my exam by two weeks to give myself some breathing room.

And you know what? That weekend in Miami was exactly what I needed. The break nourished my soul in ways I didn’t even realize I needed. I returned feeling refreshed, recharged, and ready to tackle my final weeks of study. And when exam day came, I passed—with flying colors! Circa 2017.

This experience taught me something important: choosing joy doesn’t have to come at the expense of your goals. In fact, sometimes centering joy is exactly what we need to fuel our success. There’s room for both.

Research has shown that engaging in joyful activities can reduce stress, improve focus, and enhance creativity. Studies reveal that positive emotions not only boost mental health but also improve problem-solving abilities and resilience during challenging times.

Prioritizing joy doesn’t mean neglecting your responsibilities—it means giving yourself permission to recharge and approach your goals with renewed energy.

This week, carve out intentional moments of joy in your routine:

• Plan a mini escape: Take a few hours to do something that brings you happiness—whether it’s a solo outing, a lunch date with friends, or a hobby you love.

• Schedule joy time: Block off time in your calendar for pure fun and stick to it as if it were a work meeting.

• Reflect on your balance: Ask yourself: Are you leaving enough room for joy, or are you putting it off for "later"?

Some Resources:

• Book Recommendation: The Book of Joy by Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu – A beautiful exploration of finding joy even in the midst of life’s challenges.

• Journal Prompt: When was the last time I chose joy over obligation? How did it impact me?

Joy isn’t a distraction; it’s a necessity. By allowing yourself to prioritize happiness, you create space for balance, fulfillment, and success.

🖤Dr. Akilah

This is part of Dr. Akilah's Rewriting the Narrative of Strength series. Read the entire series here!